Unfit for Society Recs

Dungeon Crawler Carl

In Which Carl Takes a Nap. Kinda. by railou
Carl finally gets a tiny moment to rest between all the trauma. <333

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Heated Rivalry

Angry Kitten by Luthien
Shane finds a stray kitten; Ilya not so slowly loses his mind. Oh heart...

big things happen every time we meet by throughadoor
Halfway through Shane and Ilya's first season playing together in Ottawa, an online sports betting company figures out how to make itself the main character when it comes to social media's new favorite topic. I really enjoyed this one.

Exhibit A by CoffeeDragon87
Ilya Rozanov has photographic evidence that could destroy Shane Hollander's reputation. At least, that's what the internet thinks. Briefly. This is super cute.

How Leo of you (with a Scorpio touch) by lorarawr
The one where Ilya breaks his leg, the Bears decide they love Shane Hollander, and everyone argues over who gets to be who in NHL 18. I enjoyed this!

Ilya Rozanov's 12 Step Plan For Public Flirting by OtherWaysHome
Ilya still loves a terrible decision. Nearly ten years of exposure to Shane just mean that now, the terrible decision comes with a plan. This time it comes with bullet pointed lists, research. Fresh ideas scribbled late at night and stuck, one over the other, onto the fridge door.

This crucial, terrible decision comes with deliberation and forethought and a twelve-step fucking plan.

A plan that starts with 'attend every game he can between the women's league's rivals-turned-wives Clara and Katya' and ends with 'kiss Shane on the mouth at center ice.'

Because Icarus has nothing on Ilya fucking Rozanov. The internet is not ready. Yuna is going to have his head for this. Step one begins on Friday. He cannot fucking wait. This is adorable!

Image Management by 409_conflict & ritualist
During his rookie year, Shane goes to a Halloween party at a Montreal gay bar to confirm some suspicions about himself. Unfortunately, it's 2010, so the official photographer uploads a few hundred photos to the bar's Facebook page. Yuna Hollander is the best, no lie! <3

It Takes a Village (Idiot) by foureighteenths
What do you do when you're getting married in six months and you have 22 guys whose literal jobs are to do whatever you tell them?

The Ottawa Centaurs are conscripted to pull off their captain's wedding. The fact that they still don't know who he's marrying is entirely beside the point. (All the signs are there. All of them.) This is so fun!

Now Raise Your Right Paw by ramaroma
In which Anya Hollander-Rozanov receives a jury summons. Hilarious!

Run Together by lunasky
Shane's phone is stolen in Sochi. They're outed and and have to go on the run together to get out of Russia before being caught by the Russian authorities. Long, compelling read following Shane and Ilya as they try to escape Russia - I enjoyed it.

the secret society of stick handlers by gurlsrool
The queer NHL players (begrudgingly) unite via group chats in the face of social media scandals. I'm sure everyone has already read this but this series repeatedly made me literally laugh so hard I cried, and I don't even know who the book-only characters even are!

Shane and Ilya vs the Internet by allyasavedtheday
With Yuna's help, Shane and Ilya harness the power of the internet to steer the narrative away from rivalry and towards friendship. <333

Shane Hollander, Gay Hockey Jesus by doctor_roc_roger
Compromising pictures surface after Ilya Rozanov's phone is hacked. Determined not to let his Russian situationship face the fall-out of getting outed, Shane Hollander comes out, starts Twitter fights, and commits to acting unhinged on main, enlisting the help of a few trusted allies.

His objective? To become the bigger news story so as to draw attention away from Rozanov, in an insane bid to distract Russia from coming for his... whatever they are to each other.

Whoever said you can't singlehandedly change an entire narrative has clearly never met Shane Hollander. This is hilarious!

something in the river by firelord_zutara
It's the summer of 2018. To the disbelief of the public, rumors claiming that the Montreal Voyageurs will be trading Shane Hollander begin circulating online.

As is often the case with professional hockey, Montreal's loss is Boston's gain. I enjoyed this!

Unusual Expenses by kalany
Once Shane's parents know about his relationship with Ilya, they begin treating him accordingly. Ilya is prepared for this.

Until he's not.

Or, sometimes love comes in the form of unexpected lectures on the rules regarding taxation of capital gains by foreign nationals residing in Canada. And then Shane picks up the pieces. This is super cute. Oh Ilya...

your fleeting heart by Anonymous
In 2023, Shane takes a bad hit during a game and wakes up with no memory of the last twelve years of his life. Ilya does not handle it well. Oh honey.

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Heated Rivalry

Coordinated Attack by 409_conflict
The third year of ESPN's #2019NHLSexiestPlayer poll gets derailed … and the internet finds out something new about Shane Hollander. Hee! This is super cute.

Domesticated: Ilya Rozanov retired partyboy by Riekawrites
Yuna Hollander's phone gets hacked, and her messages get leaked.

Everybody runs to read her messages with Shane, who she has lovingly saved as Favourite Son. Yuna and Ilya gossiping together is *chef's kiss*

#DontYouDareFuckingFreeMe by Airuna
"We do not say anything about the Hollander situation," LeClaire tells them even though it sounds like he's already resigned to what he knows is going to happen.

After all, Roz gets extremely mad whenever it's brought up. Not that Cliff can blame him, he's pretty sure that Roz liked Hollander before this (wouldn't chirp him half as much if he didn't). Finding out that he's such a bastard must sting.

Not to mention that Roz does not mess around with people that disrespect girls. Or women. Or kids. Or dogs. Or the elderly (excluding Scott Hunter). Or really anyone, if it's for petty stupid reasons.

"Of course," Cliff agrees for both of them since Roz is still too busy texting someone.

It's apparently not good enough for LeClaire because he asks, "Roz?"

"Just one second," he answers without raising his eyes from his phone or stopping his typing. "Need to get my Jane to agree with something. She's very stubborn." This is a lot of fun!

He's With Us by 74days
Shane wasn't really a... 'good' gay. He knew it.
He was, however, an exceptional lesbian. Aw Shane... <3

A Seat at Our Table by Davanzo
At a quiet hotel bar in Boston, Yuna Hollander unexpectedly runs into Ilya Rozanov while watching Shane's Montreal game. Their initially awkward conversation softens into something surprisingly easy, especially as Yuna notices the unmistakable tenderness in the way Ilya watches Shane play. So soft and lovely!

side effects may vary by ghosttotheparty
Yuna's entire body aches, and it would appear that her instincts were right— Rozanov is small, and he's vulnerable, and he's tired, and he needed somewhere safe to rest.

And Yuna can't help the weird sense that she's honoured— her home was somewhere for Rozanov to go, even if she and David knew nothing about any of it, even if they still don't, Shane knew it would be safe for Rozanov here. Shane told him to come home. Shane and Ilya come out to the Hollanders in a slightly different way. Soft and melancholy. <3

that great big hill of hope by defcontwo
Sveta is such a good friend! <333

who are you trying to trick? by iamthececimonster
Cliff may not be the smartest man in any given room, but he knows Ilya Rozanov pretty well. Which means, unfortunately, listening to sad lesbian music and pretending everything is definitely fine. This is super cute. Cliff is such a good friend!

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The Pitt

a woman can't survive by her own breath alone by singlecrow
This is a really fantastic look at Santos.

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The Pitt

enough for you to be open wide by Siria
"Do you like karaoke?" Trinity asked, which wasn't a question that Mel could answer in a particularly empirical manner. Mel generally found bars and clubs to be intimidating. But maybe that might be different if she went into one of them with a friend? <333

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Vids

Leverage

in the middle by brionysea
Fun Leverage OT3 fanvid

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Star Wars

Let's Get It Started by bessyboo
Excellently edited and really fun Star Wars vid!

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The Pitt

Apply Kleenex as Needed by Siria
Maybe if Cassie cried, she'd feel better. Really nice look at McKay in s2 episode 12.

teeth in tender flesh by silverlullabies
Brendon Park is a patient man. That's the worst thing about him. Park the Shark is a predator, and he's just scented Emma as prey. Holy shit, y'all. Mind the tags.

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The Pitt

The Long Goodbye by Siria
Dana has something to tell Robby. Oh Robby. Oh my heart...

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Heated Rivalry

Adopt/Adapt by aRegularJo
Yuna has questions. Ilya doesn't have answers.

Or

Ilya needs a mother. Luckily, Yuna is mother. <333

Duty of Care by boopboop
"My father was very fair," Ilya says immediately, and it's got the rigid, almost mechanical emphasis of something practiced a thousand times. "If I was bad, I pay price. No problem."

"I think maybe we have a different definition of the word fair."

"Yes," Ilya admits. "Probably. Shane thinks so." Lovely look at David and Yuna caring for Ilya.

english as a second language by Idday
Shane's been fucking Ilya Rozanov for a decade and yet somehow the more time they spend together the more he realizes how little he actually knows about Ilya, like, as a person. As a partner.

Again, he wishes he spoke Russian. That they had any shared native language besides sex and hockey. Really lovely.

from the cold by stammiviktor
He was going to cry.

He was crying into Yuna's porridge. He was crying in front of David Hollander. Maybe if he did not move, David would not notice? This was ridiculous. It was just that Ilya was so full of feelings and they needed somewhere to leak from. They soaked his face and he licked them off of his lips. He was so hungry and depleted of electrolytes that they almost tasted good. Yuna and David take care of Ilya while he's sick. Oh heart.

Good by ShanaStoryteller
The second dinner goes better than the first.

(Shane is his mother's son.) This is a super sweet look at Shane and his mom (and Ilya and Shane's dad). <3

how do you feel? by exogenesissymph
Shane Hollander, interviewee, throughout the years. Nice look at Shane and his relationship with the media over the years.

how your garden grows by moonsock
5 people who were pleasantly surprised by ilya rozanov Lovely!

I Like Jane For You by Icopythefax
After a mix-up leaves Hayden with the wrong phone for three days, he ends up learning more about Ilya Rozanov and his secret girlfriend, Jane. I literally laughed out loud repeatedly while reading this. <3

It's hard but it's harder to ignore it by losernotfound
the missing scene of David and Ilya while Shane and Yuna were talking outside. <333

Keep Pace by toomuchplor
What happened when Yuna and Shane were talking. Quiet and lovely.

Messaging: Boston Lily by HollowIsTheWorld
In which Hayden reaches out to Boston Lily about Shane's condition after he goes down on the ice. Despite his curiosity, he's determined not to pry... But things come out all the same. Oh boys...good thing Hayden is a good bro.

on the shoulders of giants by theclaravoyant
After the MLH awards, Scott is surprised by a... well-wisher?
World Famous Asshole Ilya Rozanov Oh heart.

Rules for Survival by Hatchigo
Shane's anxiety came from Yuna. What if Yuna went to the cottage instead of David? Lovely and plausible look at Yuna Hollander.

text me when you see this by emilystopflying
Shane and Svetlana start texting. This made me laugh out loud.

The Waiting Game by Rizandace
Hayden Pike and Ilya Rozanov are waiting for Shane to wake up after he took a bad hit on the ice. They get to talking. Aw, this is lovely.

You Have (81) Unread Messages by Ravenesta
Sarah
Does anyone have the number for Shane's girl from Boston? I feel bad that they've been seeing each other for this long and we've never added her here.

Jackie
Oh good point! Let me ask Hayden.

Jackie has added Lily to the conversation

Lily
what
what is this FANTASTIC! <3

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Batfamily

buy back the secrets by sundiscus
5 times Superboy saves Tim Drake, and one time Tim Drake saves Superboy. Wonderful! <333

Jason and the Three Terrors by Cdelphiki
One moment, Jason was peacefully sleeping, perfectly content with his life with the League of Assassins. Okay, so maybe not content content, but he wasn't unhappy, either. Then Talia woke him up at 2 am, threw three children at him, and told him to get them to America and far away from Ra's al Ghul.

What the fuck.

The last thing he wanted was to see Bruce. But with three brats relying on him and no Talia, there weren't many options for sanctuary. He just didn't expect the kids to grow on him so much in two short weeks. EPIC (326K words) AU where Talia sends Jason away from the League with Damian, Athanasia, and Mara, and their many adventures on the way home to Gotham. Engrossing read, highly recommended.

Life Alert by lurkinglurkerwholurks
Fantastic outsider POV on Red Hood and Batman. <333

Puzzles Made of Broken Glass by thatcuriouscat
Timmy Drake's parents go missing. He's the only one who notices. This is a long, entertaining, engrossing story about how Tim joins the Batfamily early. Oh, Tim. Highly recommended. <333

Resurgam by Nokomis
Bored during her pregnancy leave from being Spoiler, Steph decides to follow Robin and ends up in a cemetery. Only, something follows her home. <333

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The Pitt

2:00 AM by orphan_account
"I don't understand why you're letting that asshole crash at your place," Santos says, flopping back on the couch in the break room. "Seriously, Mel. There's a reason his wife kicked him out." I enjoyed this.

Scenes from a Lavender Marriage by Siria
Trinity shrugged. "So marry me."

Whitaker stared at her. "You're a lesbian and I'm the opposite of a lesbian."

"Like that's stopped people before," Trinity said. Santos and Whitaker get married so he can get a scholarship. It works out for them. <333

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Crossovers

Rivers of London/Slow Horses

The Spirit of Regent's Park by featherxquill
Newly minted First Desk Diana Taverner visits the Folly to find out who this Thomas Nightingale fellow is, and learns a few things about London that are closer to home than she expects. Excellent crossover! Now I want all the crossovers between all these characters!

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Vids

Ted Lasso

In The Middle by cursedwerewolf
Super cute Jamie/Keeley/Roy vid.

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The Bear

Five Cakes Marcus Thought Were Bombs and One He Knew Was Fire by gwyneth
Six drabbles about Marcus's search for a perfect new cake to bake. ♥MARCUS♥

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Star Wars

Keel by acuteneurosis
Don't Look Back AU - Leia's had plenty of dreams of the Chancellor dying a gruesome and horrific death right in front of her. None of them were like this though. This AU of an AU is highly entertaining and much too short. I could read about Leia and Vader making Mace's life harder all day.

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Stranger Things

sorry’s not the word, but please don’t thank me either by ottermo
Lucas and Steve, in the various aftermaths of Billy Hargrove. Oh Lucas. Oh Steve.

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Avatar: The Last Airbender

Heat, Wait, Steep, Repeat by Haicrescendo
Zuko screws up his life and in the process of fixing it, figures out some tea wisdom along the way. <333 #i'm not crying you're crying

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Dungeon Crawler Carl

ERROR CODE: TERM NOT RECOGNIZED by the_hemlocked
"As far as I can tell," you say, "there is currently one person in here that could hope to know what the fuck that feels like, even just a little. He also has very beautiful feet, and he's very good at killing things, which are like, my two biggest kinks."

(A System AI character study.) This is an excellent look at the system AI. Highly recommended!

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Batfamily

Catmoman by coal_scuttle_waltz
Catwoman keeps asking Bruce weird questions. ♥Selina♥ This is super cute!

Here Comes Santa Claus by TaraLaurel
It's another annual Wayne Enterprises Christmas party, but this year, there is a special guest... Oh my heart...

maybe in another life by dizarys
Dick always said his siblings were welcome anytime. Jason decides to see if that's true. <333

Moonbeams in a Jar by happybeans
This is a sweet Tim-joins-the-family-early AU.

Olive Branch by GalaxyOwl13
The Bats are making it impossible for Red Hood to accomplish anything. In an attempt to get them off his back and restore his productivity, Red Hood agrees to a meeting with Batman to talk terms.

Bruce is just happy that his son is willing to talk to him after the mistimed Batarang throw. Sure, he's more than a bit confused why Jason is treating a coffee meetup like a business negotiation, but he'll take any conversation he can get.

Meanwhile, Jason is wrangling intrusive thoughts and terrified out of his mind. Oh Jason...

Performance Review Pending: A Wayne Family Business Saga by Viwiel
Chronicles of the Wayne Family's excursions in the corporate world (legitimate as well as criminal). Absolutely hilarious!

tiptoes by thirdgleam
Tim wakes up in an alternate dimension. One where he's eleven and living on the streets. One where Batman really does work alone, no Robin by his side. One where Dick is eight years old and the Flying Graysons are still flying.

It would all be much easier to deal with if he remembered how he got there. Long, thoughtful AU where Tim ends up the older brother to Dick and Jason, and how they all grow together.

You're Robin, Remember? by Megaerakles
A very normal Timothy Drake is having a very normal day, right up until a stranger in a red helmet appears in his living room with a gun and starts making some outlandish claims.

What's this about Tim stealing a robin? This is hilarious and adorable!

what right had you not to let me die? by a_alene
Jason Todd is about to find out why hundred and four degree fevers are, generally, considered detrimental to one's well-being. Tim Drake is about to commit crimes against Top Ramen and humanity. Bruce Wayne is about to fret. What else do you expect? Hilarious!

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Crossover

Spiderman/Batman

With Great Power Comes Great Annoyance by N0t_Sketchy
Very sweet crossover where an adult Peter Parker becomes a kind of mentor to the Batkids (who are all very young in this AU), and I love it when Peter mentors young heroes.

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